If you listen to the classic rock station, you’ve probably heard the commercial for “Total Transformation,” a behavior-modification program for children.
It sounds so scary that I thought it was a joke. I figured if I called the number, someone would just tell me to grab a belt and beat my kids.
I told my son we were going to order it. That was a joke, but the actual commercial wasn’t.
I ran across a web ad for it yesterday and decided to check it out.
I still don’t know what it is, even after doing a follow up Google search.
I still think it’s scary.
On his web page, creator James Lehman says: “You have to parent the child you have -- not the child you wish you had.... But if we don’t get that ideal child and we continue to parent him as if he is ideal, it doesn’t work.”
Fair enough. Then again, parents who refuse to admit that their kids aren’t ideal won’t be checking out his program.
I’m skeptical of any program that promises to put parents “back in the driver’s seat” in a way that will lead to joyful and obedient children.
It’s not that I don’t realize that there are circumstances where a child is truly out of control and parents need to find help. I’m just appalled by the militant language.
The program offers:
10 Words to Say When He Gets Mouthy - The secret James uses to slam the brakes on ugly talk and disrespectful behavior.
Stop the Show - An amazingly simple way to stop the pleading and bargaining and let your child know you mean business.
Limit Setting - If your child ignores virtually every rule in your house, James will show you how to set limits and make them stick.
Cueing - Learn the simple cue to give your child that can stop the outburst before it even starts.
Disconnect - A sure-fire technique to stop any argument right in its tracks.
The Alternative Response - The heart of The Total Transformation Program, The Alternative Response is a literal “script” you can use when your child acts out.
Maybe it’s just because I’m an attached parent that I’m completely put off by a program that teaches parents to “disconnect.”
Hopefully I'll never reach a point where I feel the need to transform my kids.
Hawai'i's Newspaper Online 
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
