Today is the first day of UH's fall semester, which means the roster expands — by at least 11 — and the training-table meals begin.
Not exactly sure how "training table" earned its name, but for breakfast, it translates into a buffet of eggs, various meats, cereals, fruit, muffins, rice, hash browns, etc. The breakfast is served in the Stan Sheriff Center; the dinner is at the dorms' cafeteria.
The players are on their own for lunch.
The cost of the meals are deducted from each player's scholarship check.
Non-scholarship players may purchase training-table meals, although they're rather pricey.
A four-person advisory committee this week begins telephone interviews with candidates for the sports media relations director's job.
This job is more important than it appears. The winner will help set policy that will determine how much national publicity the Warriors will receive for the next two decades.
Because it's a state job — and few quit jobs that offer post-retirement medical benefits — the next apointee will be around long after this blog host is dead and gone.
Of course, this being a state hire, three of the candidates will have telephone interviews 30 yards away from the UH conference room. Because three of the candidates are on the Mainland, all candidates must be interviewed by telephone.
I suppose they could fly in the Mainland candidates . . . whoops, sorry, none of the candidates is from Arizona. Ne'er mind.
We may not know Lava's real name, but we've met him.
He's the quick wit in the sports bar.
He's the heckler who makes us cringe and laugh at the same time.
He's the class clown who secretly has great grades.
Each of his posts could be a Punk'd episode. Was he serious? He can either stick out his tongue at you or place his tongue firmly in cheek.
Lava is our special guest today. Unfortunately he out-wrote cyberspace, and his biography — although wonderful — had to be abbreviated.
Please meet Lava:
Warning: Bio-hazardous material below. (It's long, but if you get bored just skip down to the part where I'm always right.)
Like many others here, I come in peace. Unlike some of them, however, my words may sometimes suggest otherwise. I'm not the most tactful. I am passionate about a few topics, and I write with the conviction I feel. It appears some bloggers draw the line on whether you would say something to someone's face. I'm not scared to say something to your face, I'm scared you'll take it seriously and punch me in the nose. So, for the time being, I appreciate my anonymity, but I'm comfortable shedding a little more light on what I'm all about.
Humor sometimes goes undetected in cyberspace, but I am partly a joker.
I'm in my forties, but you are as old as you feel, and as duty calls, sometimes I feel all of 40 and then some, and as duty eases I can regress to being a kid again. I have a playful spirit, and I like to be active and stay in shape.
In random order, here are some of my thoughts that will give you a better sense for who I am.
Early sign of things to come: my first grade teacher taped my mouth shut.
Occupation: what you got?
Qualifications: Tsaiko-analytical.
Character flaws: Tsaiko-analytical.
Miscellaneous: I'm a real mixed bag -- Like Breakfast Club, I have a little bit of everything in me.
Upon reflection: The older I get the less I know, and currently I'm at the point where I don't know anything. I'm an idiot. What that will make me in ten years is anyone's guess.
You can join me on Team Idiot: if you ever, EVER, schedule any event opposite a UH football game, home or away. You can also join if you give someone sushi with a fork.
Athletics: Like most guys, the greatest legend in my own mind. Multi-sport athlete, quit football three days after being chosen qb, born to play receiver in fantasyland, lost every high school wrestling match I was in, captain of basketball team, bowled in high school, great fielder in baseball but career cut short when I stopped being able to see the pitches when I was at the plate, a buddy and I once walked onto a golf course (i.e. bypass the pro shop)(we thought it was caddie's day) and teed off from the 10th hole and unintentionally found ourselves playing in an amateur event. We went undetected because the first hole I birdied and he parred. The gig was up six holes later, when neither of us could find the fairway on the first, second, and third shots and the people around were confused about which hole we were playing, and the and the group behind us was equally confused and was wondering whether it was safe to hit (I can tell this story because WarriorMojo said the limitations of statutes had passed.)
Unexpected: I far prefer attending UH football practices to games, I've collected about everything one can collect, I love to attend bon dances, I don't care much for food (my mother's food was the worst, and if anyone is ever stupid enough to let her cook in Heaven's kitchen you can bet that food is getting repackaged and will find its way south), I regularly check stats on Shane Victorino, Dean Wilson, Parker and Tadd, I follow the stock market closely, I've never set foot in the Stan Sheriff Center, I cut my own hair and pick my own nose (ok, maybe that last one is to be expected).
Expected: I'm not related to Herman Frazier or Michelle Wie. (I've been very critical of HF and team Wie on this blog.)
Home front: I can't live anywhere else. Not much interest to even travel anywhere else. I've packed a lot of living into my lifetime, and I've used up 7 or 8 lives already, and I'm content to just hang here. I attended several universities but not UH, but emotionally I'm 100% invested in UH and nowhere else. When the plane lands in Honolulu, peace returns.
Best Hawaii Moment: A fruit and vegetable truck makes a turn at a busy Waikiki intersection, and the load spills out into the street. Cars are several rows deep in every lane in every direction. Every car comes to a complete stop. Round stuff like oranges were rolling everywhere. Traffic lights no longer mattered. Without hesitation everyone from every direction immediately exited their car, ignition on, doors open, running into the intersection. Anarchy. Everyone was picking up fruit and vegetables with smiling faces and putting stuff back in the boxes. It was chicken skin. That's what we are all about.
Most under-appreciated Hawaii sports person: Dr. Jim Barahol. He gets no help from the State and manages to put on the Honolulu Marathon and attract thousands of runners from outside Hawaii, who bring in tow thousands of friends and family, and when all is said and done this event is a huge financial winner for the State.
Game Day: I'm a Tsaiko. I take it way too seriously. I prefer to watch and/or listen to the games in a more intimate setting, so I'm usually home, where I can concentrate, although the voice in my head is humming right along with my many thoughts, and Bobby and Robert are tossing in their four cents, and Jim and Jim are tossing in their four cents, and somehow I'm all by myself and concentration is a real challenge. All I need is a cookoo clock that goes goes off every minute with a little bird, in a Warrior jersey, coming out that says "Tsai-ko, Tsai-ko, Tsai-ko."
How Tsaiko am I: I am not related to Lui Fuga. I've never met Lui Fuga. I wouldn't know Lui Fuga if he was sitting in front of me at practice blocking my view. But I was deeply saddened when Lui took what I thought was a cheap shot against an inferior opponent from Illinois. One guy tied up his upper body, and another guy took out his knee from the side. It looked like it took place by design. I give the guys credit for not picking a fight, I'm not sure I could have done that had I been on the field in uniform, even though I'd be roadkill (and JJ would have been unfairly criticized for not being able to control me). The next day I went for a run and reflected on the game and thinking of Lui I just got choked up, and had tears in my eyes. Fast forward one month, on another run, I was thinking about that play, and Lui, an entire month later, and again got so choked up, with tears in my eyes, I had to force myself to think of other things because I would have been viewed as a mad man running down the street balling. That's Tasiko.
Secret ambition: play wr for UH. Not sure about x versus y receiver and all that technical stuff. In my book there is onlt one play - bomb. On the snap qb (I won't say Colt because I won't be playing first string, but whoever is the last string qb -- guess we'll find out at the start of the 4th quarter of the NCU game) counts to five and throws the ball as far as he can, I'll do the rest. After 6 I'd hand the ball to the ref and run to the side line, no celebration, nothing, but in my head Billy White Shoes Johnson would be windmilling those knees in old form, which might even make me crack a smile.
How I would fare: terrible. Those physical dbs would knock the snot out of me and I'd be on IR for the rest of the year. College football is another world. Consider Justin Ayat, former kicker, can bench press more than 300 pounds. And the boys are only getting bigger and faster and stronger.
Fear: I'd end up playing for the Inmates instead (last I checked there was no Inmates-UH game scheduled in 2007).
Favorite UH players: all of them. I love all of them. Don't know a single one of them. I love all of them. Common trait - courageous. Hate to leave anyone out, they are all super, but the heart shown by some players is unreal -- Eddie Klaneski, Nate Jackson, Michael Carter (getting hit every play), Chad Owens (who hypnotized this guy into thinking he was 6'0 and 240?)
Blog friends: I like everybody.
MIA: Cool Ethan. He was indeed cool, but he hasn't been heard from in months, at least not under that name. His posts were well thought out and well written. I have a hunch some topics may have driven him away, like HF, and I have a hunch I may have contributed to that. Sorry Cool Ethan, please come back.
Blog would be a better place when: everyone realizes I'm always right and people start agreeing with me more often.
Greatest blog contribution: I've offered to personally pay for HF's moving expenses provided he moves before the start of the first game (if you can call NCU a game). There is still time.
Word to Colt: The sugar content in some sports drinks might be causing or aggravating your stomach troubles. Try Gu and Cytomax.
Word to the o-line: if any one of you find yourself up against two blockers, don't be a hero, knock one of them on their okole and trust Colt can outrun the other.
Word to the coaches: Rotate the players. Play everybody that works for you. I know the depth is unreal, and the fresh #3 or 4 may be better than a tired #1 or 2, so all who've earned it give them all a chance.
Biggest question for 2007: how can we be better this year than last given how much awesome talent we lost to the pros? We will be great, but better?
Shaka Sign -- I'm out
Hawai'i's Newspaper Online 
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
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